So last night, me and my wife went to see the comedian Michael Ian Black. I've been a long time fan of Michael Black since i first saw him on the Mtv show The State, and more recently on the short lived Comedy Central series Michael and Michael Have Issues. Needless to say, when i heard he was coming to our city, i knew that we just had to go.
So, we get to the comedy club, and get seated. It's a relatively small club, i would maybe describe it as cozy. The stage is only about twelve feet by six feet in the center of the front wall. The seating area probably sat about 100 people if that. My thoughts are less on the show itself (which was very enjoyable and hilarious), but more about two people that i saw at the show, and my confusion on why these two prototypes would even go to a comedy show.
The first type, i wouldn't say confused me so much, but still remains a mystery to me. I imagine this first type of person is basically a regular presence at any comedy show. For the sake of this article, we will just call this person the Loudmouth.
First and foremost, the Loudmouth is generally male. This particular species of Loudmouth was maybe in his late 30's, early 40's, and wore a burnt orange hat that matched his short sleeved burnt orange Under Armor polo almost perfectly. He was probably the guy who was pretty popular in high school, maybe an athlete. He probably has gained this belief that people actually give a shit about what he thinks, due to constant pandering. So, before the show, i was already fairly certain that this guy was going to be an issue, judging by his boisterous demeanor, and overall jack-assery. He was in a group of about 15 people, and as he was getting progressively more drunk, he would make his way through his party and loudly insult each of them. I imagine he thought he was pretty funny.
So, the lights go down, and the show begins. The first comic is a guy from L.A. named Brandon Walsh. He was actually pretty funny, and had a lot of strange little anecdotal stories that he referenced and shared. So as Brandon was telling his jokes and stories, Loudmouth starts hollering things up at Brandon.
Why? Why go to a comedy show, just to heckle the comedians? People didn't pay their money to see if there are any "great" undiscovered comedians in the audience with them. No, they paid to see the main acts. Luckily enough, Brandon was pretty quick with his wit and shut this guy down pretty fast by questioning the Loudmouth's sexual prowess, by inferring that the Loudmouth couldn't even close the deal with a stripper. The Loudmouth basically pumped the brakes from there on out and let everyone enjoy the show without his running commentary.
The second prototype, i barely noticed, and figured were a lot more rare to find at a show. The second type of comedy show phenomenon is what i would call, the Stick-in-the-Mud, or SitM.
I noticed the SitM during Brandon's set. As Brandon was telling his stories that involved fake mustaches, giant mushrooms, stripper girlfriends, and the overall fuckery that goes along with comedians, i simply scanned the room. I noticed the SitM sitting arms folded blankly staring at the stage.
The SitM was sitting with, what i imagine were his two friends, with a stone cold straight face. If you erased the rest of the surrounding atmosphere of the comedy club and were only able to see him sitting in a chair and have to guess what was going on around him, one would definitely not guess, "He's at a comedy show!" No, some answers you might get are 1) He's waiting at the DMV, 2) He's sitting on a bus, or 3) He might be at a funeral for someone he only kind of knew.
His friends seemed to be enjoying themselves, but there was just something about his body language that made me ask, "why?" At first, i figured maybe he just really wasn't into this comedian, maybe he doesn't think this guy is very funny. Maybe he really just came for Michael Ian Black, and is mildly upset that this guy is "wasting his time." Even during Brandon's most hysterical jokes, i would look at SitM to see if he even cracked a smile. He didn't. I just chalked it up to, "maybe this guy is such a comedy snob, that he refuses to find this stuff as funny."
My real surprise came when Michael Ian Black hit the stage. I looked over at SitM, and he was the exact same! He didn't laugh, he didn't snicker, he didn't even smile. It got to the place, where i would quickly glance over at him for each joke. Nothing, Nada, Zip, Zilch. This kid was checked out, and looked completely bored.
I guess the moral of the story is that if you want anything in the audience with you during a comedy show, it's the SitM. The SitM's lack of enjoyment is their own loss, and their own money. It won't affect you, other than baffle you. Now with the Loudmouth, they will affect you. They can change your enjoyable (paid for) experience into a nightmare. So, you better hope the opening act has a wit like a god damned blade to cut these clowns down early.
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